Tall Tales | “You make an old man very happy”

· by · in Tall Tales. ·

That is what a homeless man said to me as I walked out of the 7-11 and back to the office one day last week.

He was about 5’6″ and if I had to guess, I would say he was in his late 70s. The couple of times I had seen him previously, he only said hi and didn’t even ask for change, but I guess this day he worked up the nerve.

So like I said I was walking out of the 7-11 and he was right there in front of the door. He immediately recognized me. “Hey, I thought I missed you today!” I simply smiled and continued to walk away. That is when he said I made him happy. A little weirded out, I kept walking. I don’t want to even think about what he means or how I make him happy just by walking… Nope, don’t wanna know.

I have my back to him now but I can clearly hear him talking to this guy that walked out of the 7-11 behind me. I forget what he said, probably something like she makes an old man happy or something like that, and the other guy said, “That?” “Yeah that!” I don’t know how I became “that”. Am I some sort of space creature or something? I can’t get a “she”, “her”, or not even “that girl over there”.

Anyway, I didn’t hear how the other guy responded and I refused to look but obviously it was not to the homeless guy’s satisfaction. “You need your eyes checked!” I heard him yell. By this time I was crossing the street and the homeless guy is walking towards me telling me that this other guy needs his eyes checked. And he was being really adamant and loud about it. I bet other passersby were wondering who was the cause of all this ruckus. Me: *raises hand* Oops.

Wanting no part of this conversation, I walked as quickly as I could to the office. But I’m like, first of all, calm down Homeless Man. I know I’m stunning and all, but you’re scaring me. Second, the man has a right to his opinion. Telling him he needs his eyes checked is a little much. And why are you telling me he needs his eyes checked? I’m not going to do anything. I happened to sneak a glance at the other guy as I was waiting for the light to turn. We locked eyes and he kinda looked scared. As if I just might go over there and fix his eyes for him. No sir. I ain’t about that life.

All I wanted was some chips, and this is what happens. What’s a tall girl to do? Le sigh. I have to give him points for originality though. I’ve never heard that one before.

Do you have any crazy stories? Let me know below!

Until next time,

Elayna
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4 responses to “Tall Tales | “You make an old man very happy””

  1. I have something a little like this … well sort of.

    I was doing my groceries one day and as I went up and down the aisles, I kept passing a man of about 40ish. He was short and swarthy with quite a handsome face and sparkly eyes and, with who I assume were his parents, trailing behind him a little pushing their trolley.

    With each pass, he looked a little longer, passed a little closer, and smiled a little bigger till finally he spoke to me.

    Heavily accented, with lots of hand gestures, and in broken English (guessing he was Italian but I have never been very good with accents, so it is a rough guess), he said: “You so tall – I feel small like baby. But then you so so tall – I feel strong like man. Your beauty makes me feel taller than I am”.

    It was said in such a gorgeous way, that I could only take positives from his comments. Can now definitely see why women fall for men with accents.

    I blushed in a second, thanked him for the compliment, smiled and continued on.

    The funny bit was that each time we passed in the remaining aisles of the grocery store, his mother stared at me – actually more glared at me. I think she was not impressed with her son talking to me that way and lumped the responsibility for his behaviour on me.

    I hope she didn’t put some old Italian curse on me.

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