Credit: John McDermott

Does anyone else have that irrational fear that if you pass out or something in public, NO ONE will be able to whisk you away bridal style to go get help? Y’know like in the movies, when the leading lady swoons and the strapping gentlemen effortlessly catches her and carries her away? That is NOT how it will happen with me in real life. I can tell you that right now. Random, I know but that thought hit me the other day. I was struck by the notion that the general public is not well equipped to help me. I am literally too big for the average person to try and lift.

Okay. This thought really didn’t come out of nowhere. You see, I tend to get lightheaded sometimes when it gets too hot and stuffy in a room or if I stand up too quickly from sitting, I get really dizzy (Fun fact: this is called orthostatic hypotension. Thank you Google!) comes with being tall I guess. So there is the possibility of me passing out. I’ve never even come close or ever will though, but sometimes I wonder.

I can totally see if something like that happens, these poor good Samaritans who are only trying to help, will struggle and fail to pick me up. I even had a dream once where I fainted and people were trying to lift me. They were having a hard time holding on to me and my limp arms and legs were flailing all over the place. They were struggling so much that I actually woke up to tell them to stop and just leave me there. That is a good idea. I should put that in my emergency information at work; that if I pass out, don’t try to lift me. It would save us both the embarrassment. Just leave me there.

I probably won’t even faint gracefully like in the movies. I would probably drop like a sack of potatoes taking a couple of people with me. TIMBER!!

My dad told me that when he was in a car accident years and years ago, there were 2 paramedics who were trying to lift him on a gurney and they almost dropped him because he was too heavy. Luckily he was alright so finally he said, “No! NO! Stop. Just STOP! I will walk!”

I’m not even that heavy considering my height but there is a lot of me to try and get a hold of and carry somewhere. It would probably take a whole team of people to pick me up. 6 people on one side and 6 people on the other. Imagine finding out later that they needed 12 people to lift me. How embarrassing would that be?

I also don’t look like I weigh as much as I do, so I am totally afraid that someone will misjudge my weight and try to be Mr. Strongman and throw his back out or something. Then I would be the one at fault. “If you had known beforehand that you were going to faint and just left the room, then this wouldn’t have happened!” And I get sued for $50 million. Ah, the stuff that goes on in my head. I seriously think too much. I am probably the only person who thinks like this, but I just thought I’d share.

So remember, if you see me in public and I faint, don’t try to lift me or move me, just call 911. And when you call,  you probably need to specify that this woman is 6’3″ and they might need a professional bodybuilder or something to lift me.

Something to think about,

Elayna