I’m a Superhero!

wonderwomanI recently discovered that I am a superhero and you, tall person, are most likely one too. Don’t balk, just hear me out. Think about the characteristics of a superhero. They are intelligent, strong, brave, have a painful back-story, have special powers/skills, are different/outcast/unique, have a weakness. So what does this have to do with tall people? Let me break it down for you.

Intelligent Superheroes have to be intelligent in order to outsmart the evil geniuses who are constantly trying to take over the world. Tall people are scientifically proven to be smarter. A 2006 study found that “as early as age 3 — before schooling has had a chance to play a role — and throughout childhood, taller children perform significantly better on cognitive tests…[and] tall children are much more likely to become tall adults. As adults, taller individuals are more likely to select into higher paying occupations that require more advanced verbal and numerical skills and greater intelligence”.

Strong Superheroes have to lift cars off of babies and bend train tracks to prevent a train crash so they need superhuman strength. It is common knowledge that you don’t pick a fight with a tall person unless you want to lose it’s always in movies and TV. That’s because everyone knows that tall people are physically stronger. Duh.

Brave If a superhero has to fight evil, they can’t be a wimp. A tall person is brave just going out of their house everyday. It takes courage to keep your head up high after all the teasing, stupid questions, social awkwardness that we have to go through. That leads me to the next characteristic.

Painful Back-story Many superheroes have horrible pasts that force them into becoming who they are. Whether becoming orphaned as a baby, being banished from your home world or being kidnapped by terrorists they have to have a painful back-story. Growing up tall is not easy. Tall children are often teased for being different and coupled with a rapidly growing body is difficult. But it makes us into the strong individuals we are today.

Different/outcast/unique Spiderman was a socially awkward geek. Superman was the one of the few left of his race living on a strange planet. And being a person with strange powers living amongst people who don’t is hard. It is not easy being the only one. There are less than 1% of U.S. women who are taller than 6’3″. I would say that is pretty unique.

Special powers/skills Superhuman strength, laser vision, spidey sense, extensive knowledge of martial arts techniques–superheroes have a myriad of different skills and powers. Tall people are no different. We can reach things off of high shelves without a chair or a ladder. We have no problem seeing over people in a crowd (and are easily seen in said crowd). We have long legs which can get us anywhere in more than half the time than the average person. And superheroes have to use their skills to help people. How many times were you asked to help someone reach something today?

Has a weakness To show they have a vulnerable side, Superheroes are often given a weakness. It could be anything from water, their own anger, or a woman. Low ceilings are our Kryptonite. Sad but true.

See what I mean? Now that I think about it, I hope I didn’t blow our secret identity by publishing this. But in my defense, superheroes don’t necessarily need a secret identity. Take Iron Man or Thor for instance. So now that you know that you are, in fact, a superhero what will your superhero name be? (Or are you a supervillain?) Let me know in the comments below.

Time to save the world,

Juno, the Amazonian Queen (aka Elayna)

2 responses to “I’m a Superhero!

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