Nicknames

“The genius over there calls me ‘Spot'”

Tall nicknames we’ve all had them. Why do people feel the need to give me a tall-related nickname? Calling me these dumb nicknames is the same as saying “Hey, you’re tall!”. The same knee-jerk reaction: “She is really tall and I have to comment on it!” My name is Elayna. Not Jolly Green Giant or Bigfoot. Or Stretch or Slim. Not Too Tall, Shorty, Iron Giant, Slinky, or even Lady Godzilla. I don’t think there is a tall nickname that I haven’t heard (though I could be wrong). What do short people do; have meetings about what to call tall people? Do they have a guidebook about the best ways to annoy us because they do a really good job.

My dad told me that he was known as “Lurch” all through high school. The name was so popular that the teachers even called him that. One time, his basketball coach called his house and said, “Hi Mr. Lurch, is Lurch home?” Grandaddy loved telling that story.

In elementary school, it wasn’t too bad. They would call me names to get me to chase them in a game of tag. Occasional hallway teasing in middle school. In high school, I had a friend who always called me “Shorty”. It was bearable. We were all kids. Sometimes it was kinda funny. I assumed someday I would outgrow the nickname phase. I have not. I am an adult now and calling me “Slim” is not cute anymore. “Hey, Slim! Can I have your number?” How about, no. “Hey, Shorty! How you doin’?” Leave me alone.

What’s sad is that I have no real biting comebacks in my arsenal to these nicknames. Either I give my best death glare or I just ignore it. I’m really good at that. Ultimately I realize that I am above responding. Literally.

Any other nicknames and/or comebacks? Funny nickname stories? I want to hear them, share below!

Until next time,

Shorty

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5 responses to “Nicknames

  1. No funny nickname stories, but I used to HATE (I cannot emphasize that enough) when people would ask if I played basketball growing up. From the time I could color, I knew I was going to be in Fashion not sports.

    My Mom used to stop people before they could even form the words in their brains, and warn them “Do NOT ask her about basketball!” However, when I was sans “bodyguard” (lol) and told people I was into fashion and art, they always followed up with “Well, you could play basketball and get a scholarship to college.” Um, really?! I didn’t know FIDM Parsons and FIT accepted basketball scholarships. Must be something new.

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    • I got the same thing when I was going to college. I was very much into art and design and everyone thought I should get a basketball scholarship. The thing is I HATED basketball. Most people mean well I guess, they are just a little misguided…And I think that since most basketball players are tall they just assume that ALL tall people should play basketball. It’s sad that people stereotype and make assumptions based on looks.

      Thanks for stopping by!
      Elayna

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      • I would catch a serious attitude too when people asked me. Had the stinkface and everything lol. I played no sports whatsoever. I called myself a rebel. Because everyone told me that I should play, I decided that I wasn’t going to out of spite. lol

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  2. I am 6’8. Have long blonde(past shoulder length hair.) And a solid 7 inch beard..Today I was doing community service and a guy there called me lurch so I said to him shut up you cheech marin looking ewok. He was a little 5 ft wanbabe badass. I guess he thought I was a lurch because of the height.. I dunno.. my kids think I look like zues.

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