Little/big me. I was always tall for my age
Like any mother, my mom is pretty vocal about her desire for grandkids. Grandkids she can visit occasionally, spoil rotten, hype them up on sugar and then send them home to me. My sister and I affectionately refer to this as Operation: Grandchild. Seeing as I’m only 23 and not ready to get married and have kids, mom is going to have to wait a little bit. But it got me to thinking about how tall my children are going to be. My mother has already told me my future husband is going to be 6’10” so it is pretty much a done deal that my kids are going to be giants.
I even looked up this height predictor to find out exactly how tall my giants would be. It said the boy would be 6’9″ and the girl would be 6’4″. I don’t expect to have children for at least another 5 years (I mean I haven’t even met this 6’10” guy yet) but I’ve been thinking about what I would tell my children based on my experiences. How am I going to raise them to be happy, confident people? Because let’s face it, it is hard to be different and stand out from the rest. They are going to be unusually tall and when they get the looks and stares they’re going to need someone to tell them that everything is okay. And if they are going to be anything like me, they are going to be tall at a very early age. They need to know that they are perfect the way they are and they are not freaks no matter what anyone says.
I remember when I was younger, I didn’t want to have girls. Not because I particularly favor boys but because I knew she was going to be very tall. I know what it was like for me and I didn’t want her to go through that. But I’ve changed my mind especially after meeting so many beautiful women taller than me through this blog. Yeah, it’s not easy but we’re all made better because of it. And I’m sure it’s not easy being a really tall guy either even though it’s more “socially acceptable” for men to be tall than women. But 6’9″ is definitely unusual especially when growing up in a land of shorties.
I will tell my children that they are loved and beautiful as I would any child. They don’t have to play sports if they don’t want to. No matter how many times coaches try to recruit them or strangers badgering them with stupid comments. I will teach them to see the humor in everything. Life is too short to take things so seriously; to be angry and upset about things you can’t change (i.e. your height, other people’s behavior).
My mom told me that she didn’t try to beat us over the head with our “tallness”. It is hard enough raising children as it is. She wonders if she could’ve done things differently. She thought my sister and I were coping well as it was so she didn’t feel the need to single out our height. She simply told us to stand up straight, don’t slouch and etc. Would it have been better if she took us to Tall girl support groups or took us to a tall psychiatrist to help us “deal”? I really don’t know the answer to that, but I have to say I’m happy with the way I’ve turned out so far, so thanks Mom. I think I (and my kids) am going to be okay.
Any tall mothers out there? Am I the only one who was a little anxious about having tall children? Is there anything you wish you (or your parents) would’ve done differently raising tall children? Let me know in the comments below.
The Mother of Giants,
Elayna
The Junoesque 
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Wow, thanks Mom! lol
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I’m 27 and 6’3 – I’m not married and don’t have kids. When I was a teen I was very insecure about my differences – I’m tall from a family that is very average in height, partly deaf and everyone in my family is extremely thin. But by the time I was about 20 I figured life out enough to become very positive about myself and move on with life. I think these insecurities are really common for teenage girls no matter how they are different and everyone has some kind of difference. A beautiful girl I knew was worse than me and it was all from the fact she had flaming red hair and freckles. They really bothered her.
I have no idea how tall any future husband might be. Height isn’t terribly important for me in guys as there are about a dozen things that are much more important to me. If I required a certain height I’d meet few enough guys that I would have to compromise on the things that are really important. In fact I have yet to run into a taller guy that has the right properties for me to even begin to consider him, but I’ve met several shorter guys who do – not because taller guys are worse for me … its just that what I’m looking for is rare enough that I have only run into a few guys who have it and since most of the guys are shorter, chances are the “right” guy will be too…
Any child is going to have issues with society and growing up. Learning to overcome those issues is one of the ways we grow as people I think, so what those differences are probably shouldn’t matter. A “perfect” child – everything “normal” and even beautiful on top of that might tend to be conceited. I would hope that I – that we, a future husband and I, could help give the child enough guidance to navigate all of these social traps and land mines, so they could become solid and wonderful adults. Of course that is a huge challenge by itself!
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You make some really good points Jheri. Raising kids in itself is tough. But I think knowing ahead of time that my children are going to be “different” and knowing that they might go through some struggles because of their height made me a little anxious. There were all these questions about am I going to do a good enough job raising them to believe that they are beautiful no matter what. A little neurotic, I agree. I’m determined not to overthink things. That’s the key I think.
Elayna
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I worried about this before I got married and I was only 5′ 8″, but while I was growing up that was tall. I was always one of the tallest girls. My husband is 5′ 11″ and my first son and daughter are about the same as him. My 3rd child, a son, is about 5′ 9 or 10″. There were some shorties in our family tree so I’m guessing those genetics got mixed in somewhere and went to the boys, because 5′ 9″ to 5′ 11″ is not that tall for boys, but 5′ 10″ to 11″ is quite tall for a girl. Maybe this is the age for women to stand out a bit more, after all, who decided that women had to be shorter than men? Isn’t that just social conditioning?
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I’m not sure when that started; that men have to be taller than women. The old movies, maybe? Leading men are supposed to be tall and dashing. Leading women were dainty and petite. I guess these conventions are turned on their heads with tall women and short men. It doesn’t have to be this way, but tall people are so rare, I think, that’s the way it just happens.
Elayna
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As a tall woman I had a terrible time growing up. I made many mistakes, mostly because I hated my height and felt totally crippled by it. I don’t know what my parents could have done differently other than I wish they had gotten a doctor to induce my cycle at 9 or 10 so I would have ended up 5’7 or 5’8. I also wish I had grown up in a different region,where I might not have stood out as bad. At the end of the day you never know.
Height also is hard to predict, my parents are 5’8 (mom) and 6’1 (dad) so not that tall. I am 5’11 and my daughter is 5’5 (and done growing) and I worried that she would be tall.
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5’11”? That is not that tall at all! I used to wish I was 5’11”-6’0″. I thought that was the perfect height.
I think it is sad that you wish you were shorter. I am 6’3″ (and have been over 6’0″ since I was 10 so I know what it is like to grow up tall) and I love being tall. Of course, I didn’t always feel that way but I appreciate the way I am now because I know that I am beautiful the way I am and so are you. I know that is easy to say from my perspective but I wish that you would learn to embrace your height for your own peace of mind. It’s not going anywhere so you might as well love it.
Elayna
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I’m 6’1″ and so is my husband. Our children are so far a little taller than average, but not especially so. I think it’s really nice to have a husband who is about the same size as me, and I hope our kids grow up to be tall, but not so tall that it’s hard for them to find clothing or cars that fit. My dad and my brothers are all around 6’5″ to 6’7″ and seem to run into problems with things just not being built for people that size, but up to about 6’3″ that doesn’t seem to be an issue.
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